Fair Warning...This race recap is full of all the feels because that is what got me through that 13.1 miles. All.The.Feels. All of them.
NOPE.
I can hear the wind whipping the rain into our bedroom window.
SHIT.
We're really doing this.
I think the same thing I think every early morning...Get up. Feet on floor. And move...don't look back.
BUT IT'S 50 FREAKING DEGREES, WINDY, AND RAINING....who wants to run 13.1 miles in THIS!?!
And let me be the first to tell you I did not WANT to run this race in these conditions. I wanted to join the 700 other people that signed up for the race but stayed home in their nice, warm, dry homes.
Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving.
I get a text from the group of Mother Runners...4 of the 5 of us are running 13.1 miles..in the rain...and wind..and cold. The other is on the injured list but because she is an incredible friend was still coming to be our support staff. As the other 4 of us are bitching about the weather she says, "Can't wait to see some badass mother runners cross the finish line today! Because there is a finish line and that amazing feeling you get when you cross it. Rain or not there is a finish line!"
Ok Sarah. Get your shit together. You're doing this.
Oatmeal. Coffee. Phone. Poncho. Post race clothes. Let's go.
We got to the start line 15 minutes before the gun...After 3 pit stops in 45 minutes. For one we waited in a line of cars for the porta potty...A.line.of.cars. Not people standing in line. A line of cars. We are crazy...or driven, passionate, stubborn,...or crazy. You choose.
We had a short walk to the school where the start line was. I'm trying to stay dry under our Support Staff's umbrella but it wasn't working. I could already feel the cold and wet creeping into my shoes. For the first time I feel just how cold the wind feels when my skin is wet...and the panic starts to creep up. I am COMPLETELY and TOTALLY NOT trained to run in this weather. If I woke up on ANY morning and it was 50 degrees, windy, and rainy I would NOT go out and run. Never. Freezing cold and snow...I'm out there. Boiling hot and humid...bring it on. Rain, wind and cold is a brutal combination because you cannot protect yourself from any of it. The rain will soak you and the wind and cold will chill you to the bone. And it was already happening and I've been outside for all of 2 minutes. My heart is pounding.
I've never done this race as a half marathon before...only the 5k...But based off their previous year results there's usually around 1,500 half marathoners...This year there were 723. SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE driven, passionate, stubborn, crazy runners waiting in the hallways of Dexter Middle School for as long a possible trying to enjoy being warm and dry for the last time for the next two hours. Worrying about wet feet and blisters, poncho or no poncho, sweat shirt or no sweat shirt...Are we really doing this? Are we really going back out there?
2 minutes to start.
We are out of our last bathroom stop and start walking towards the start line. Because there were literally HALF of the runners there usually are the pace groups were way, way, way far up towards the start line. Jen and I knew we really wanted to be under 2:10. Under 2:05 would be REALLY nice but under 2:10 would be awesome...especially on this hilly course and in these conditions....2:10. We wanted 2:10. But we couldn't find the 2:10 pacer and before I knew it the gun went off and we started moving forward...As we looked to say goodbye to our Support Staff...her umbrella flipped inside out...
Mother Nature officially hates us.
We kept inching closer to the start line and before I knew it we crossed it and started to run. Less than 30 seconds in Jen says..."I'm having a hard time keeping it together." and I was too! Here we were...not olympic athletes...not world class racers...just two moms who found something that makes them better inside and out...who have spent the last year running through whatever life has thrown at us...through fat days, frustration, self doubt, stress...We have gotten to a point where training isn't about just the finish line...it's about the journey to the finish line. What we have to overcome to get there...and for this race we have overcome A LOT. Our last big hurdle was in front of us...13.1 miles of cold. wind. and rain. And I cried as soon as I crossed the start line. Not because of the SHITTASTIC weather we had...but because it didn't matter!! It didn't matter that over HALF of the runners had stayed home because it was such a horrible day...it didn't matter that my shoes were already soaked through...it didn't matter that I had 2 hours of this to deal with ahead of me...We weren't quitting. We were finishing what we started. And 2 years ago...I would NEVER have had the mental ability to do that. I would have quit. I would let life beat me down and not fight back...I would quit things I loved if they got to hard...I would not give 100% for fear of failure. I was not strong inside or out...And here I was...fighting back harder than I ever have before not just against the weather, but LIFE...the ups, downs, and curve balls. So I cried. Because I am so proud of the person I have fought so so so hard to become. I knew how MENTALLY hard these 13.1 miles ahead of us were going to be but I was going to kick them square in the ass.
Because of the lack of runners and our late arrival at the start line...We were behind the 2:30 pace group and had to do some serious dodging and ducking those first few miles to maintain our pace. I was so focused on not tripping on anyone and slow up hills and fast down that the first 3 miles were a blur. I could hear my running coach says.....
Don't go with the pack...keep your pace...run your race.
I did my best to keep us on pace and slow up hills and fast down. I ditched my sweatshirt around mile 4...I knew our families and Support Staff were waiting at mile 7 with our extra clothes so I could grab something then if I was cold. We did exactly what we were suppose to do...slow up hills, fast down. I was coldish but would warm up on every hill...and there were a metric shit ton of hills. Some small. Some rolling. Some NEVER ENDING. We drove the course the night before,,,in pouring rain...and I kept trying to remember what was coming next. I remember passing the mile 5 sign and saying, "That went fast."
We heard a voice behind us... "YOOOOOO HOOOOOOO Big summer blow out!!!!" (Get the Frozen refrence...) It was one of the Mother Runners we had started with.
Making you smile while running in the cold, wind, and rain...That's what Mother Runners are for.
I knew we had less than 2 miles to our husbands and our babes. I knew I was going to need those high fives and bright eyed smiles....But I also knew they were going to be at the top of a big hill.
We started up the hill and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. And like I planned it the song "Welcome to the Jungle" came on right as we came to the top of the hill where you could see the people lining the streets....right where our families...our own little Jungle...were waiting. We are Mother Runners...We run to burn of the crazy that comes with being a mom...living in our own Jungles of chaotic, hectic, unconditional love with those goons that were waiting at the top of that hill.
First we saw our Support Staff and one of the other Mother Runner's Daughters who had THE BIGGEST smile on her face. Her mommy was ahead of us and of course I start crying...what an amazing example she is setting for her daughter and that little girl was just soaking it up. If you've never gone to a race to support someone you love you should...we get so much energy from you...to see your smile even if it's just for a second will propel us for miles... And that little girls smile and big bright eyes were EPIC.
About 20 steps farther up I saw them...My mom, husband, and oldest babe. I slowed down just enough to really look at my son's face. He had that same smile and big bright eyes...He is one of the reasons I started running...I wanted to keep up with him, to not have to slow down, to chase him and his 2 little brothers all day long. He gave me the best high five and big bright eyed smile as we passed. I knew I was going to have to hang onto that image for the next 6 miles because it wasn't getting warmer...and it was still raining...and the wind had picked up. Right as we started to get out of the crowd and towards the water station there was a sign that said. "Runners don't get rained out...they get rained on."
Combine that sign with our Jungle we just ran through...I lost it. We had to walk through that water station so I could pull it together. We were over halfway. We just got the BEST high fives in the history of high fives. And our kids are watching us finish something we started... Tears. All of them.
I rode that high for the next 2 miles...then at mile 9 I hit a wall. I was REALLY starting to get cold/hot/cold/hot/cold/hot flashes every few steps. I couldn't keep my arms warm so I kept sticking them back in my rain poncho then I saw it...this HUGE curve in the road where you could see how far you still have to go. We are along a river...the wind picked up again and was blowing the rain off the trees so it felt like it was pouring. I was miserable. And I knew what was coming....2 HUGE hills at mile 11 and 12.5. HUGE hills. The 5k of this race I ran 2 years before and I remember those 2 hills VERY clearly.
This is what happened next...
Me: I'm dying.
Jen: What do you need do you want to walk?
Me: No.
Jen: Slow down?
Me: Yes...but if you can go faster you need...
Jen: NO.
Another mile passed.
Jen: 3 miles left...that's once around the big loop. Zack will be there waiting for you.
I thought of EVERY.SINGLE.THING I've ever said in bootcamp.
I thought of Laura...the Mother Runner with the sweet daughter that was at mile 7...She was probably already at the finish...she better get me a bagel.
I though of Jo...YOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO BIG SUMMER BLOW OUT! She was bobbing right in front of us .
I thought of our Support Staff who would have given anything to be out there racing with us that day but she couldn't.
Turn your mind off and RUN...Right now. RUN.
Mile 11
Me: When I ran the 5k I wanted to die right here too...but that was only 1 mile in...now I'm 11 miles in.
Jen: Now remember THAT.
Mile 11.5...the middle of hill of death number 1.... There they were...not our family...not cute kids with huge smiles and bright eyes...There they were....The 2:10 pacers. And we passed them...right in the middle of the hill I was dreading so much. And just like that the wall I had been struggling over for the last 2 miles was gone and the runner's high kicked in and we were off.
Mile 12. Here we go...final push...the last half mile is all up hill...the only way to do it is run it as absolutely fast as you can. I ran it like those 2:10 pacers were on my ass...I saw the crowds getting bigger...I knew it was close. Then I could see it...the big banner over the road that said FINISH.
Beast Mode ON.
I knew our Support Staff was to our right but I couldn't even look...I could only see that finish line. And I ran as absolutely fast as I could through eyes full of tears up the rest of the hill and crossed the timing mat with no idea what our time was but knowing we beat our 2:10 goal.
I hugged Jen and we found the rest of the Mother Runners that had finished ahead of us...all with HUGE Personal Records. HUGE. I mean they do workout at my gym....soooooooo............I wouldn't expect anything less.
We found our families. Took some pictures. And raced to the car where dry clothes, seat heaters, and coffee were waiting for me.
I knew we were under 2:10....But I didn't know how far...as we were pulling into our driveway I found our official time. 2:08:19.
That's over a 5 minute Personal Record...on a hilly course. In cold, wind, and rain.
Running is not just about the race..It's not just about miles and PR's...It's far far bigger than that.
The person I was 2 years ago is different than the person I was 4 months ago who's different that the person I am today. It's not the running that drives me and make me spend 2 hours in the pouring rain with 700 other driven, passionate, stubborn, crazy people.....it's the person that running has made me become.
Left: Dexter Ann Arbor 5k May 2013
Right: Dexter Ann Arbor Half Marathon May 2015
Just.Keep.Going.
