Detroit International Marathon Race Recap

On December 31st, 2014 I sat on the floor of our living room...lap top open...ready to register for something that was WAY out of my comfort zone...Something I NEVER even knew I wanted to do and something I had more self doubt about than anything I've ever attempted before.

I registered for my first Full Marathon.




Fast forward 6 months where training began.  With the guidance of my running coach Lori I started pounding the pavement.  531 miles of it to be exact.  You can read all about training in last week's post 26.2 Lessons Learned Training for my First 26.2.  The support, the friendships, the love, the work, the time, the dedication....all of it.  Training for a marathon is LIFE CHANGING on so many levels.

With 18 weeks of training behind us it was FINALLY RACE WEEKEND!!!


Race Weekend

Friday we went to the expo and got our Bibs and some other fun stuff...it's basically a place where 25,000 runners go to get their race day essentials and/or start to get the butterflies.  And oh were there butterflies.




Friday night the Mother Runners and our Support Staff gathered at our house to go over race day details.  Or at least that's what they told us.  They gave us our last #SupportStaff card which was a framed picture with our babes hand prints and our favorite Mother Runner quote on it.

Laura gave us cards with words of love and encouragement. Jen gave us bracelets with a 26.2 charm on them....I mean the tears were endless.  THEN Heather and Jo (aka Support Staff) said it was time for the last surprise...and blindfolded us.  What the hell.  I hate being blindfolded...and I really don't like surprises.  I assumed it was something our kids were doing for us and Zack kept messing with me while I was blindfolded...If I could have seen him I would have donkey kicked him.

We all stood together and they told us to turn around and take off our blindfolds and standing in my kitchen was my sister, her husband, and my niece.



I HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE COMING!!!!!!!!!!!! All the tears....all of them...Those bitches..I mean friends of mine...had been planning this for MONTHS!! I had spent many a long run being all woe is me...nobody from home is coming to watch this HUGE event in my life.  I even would be sassy with my sister when she would talk about my race and say things like, "Well it's not like I didn't tell you the date back in JANUARY." Oh yeah.  I said that more than once.

But now they are here!! And my sweet little niece is HERE! And I'm running a MARATHON!!!!!

Saturday we went to Zack's soccer game then came home and I snuggled Baby Grace for the rest of the day...there is no better way to hydrate and rest the day before 26.2.


Saturday night we went to our favorite pre-race restaurant...Smokehouse 52 where #supportstaff strikes again.  They all had orange shirts made for our run the next day so we could find them in the crowds.  


Then it was home....slight panic about what to wear the next day because it was the first 30 degree day since February...drink more water...finish packing my bag for after the race...and to bed where I was joined by the littlest babe who THANK YOU LORD fell asleep in 5 minutes.  3:15 a.m. was going to come quick!


Race Day Morning

Alarm goes off. Feet hit the floor. Dressed. Coffee. Breakfast. Adjustment. Everyone gets to my house and we are out of the driveway at 4:12. Record time.

Dana tells me to look out my window.........and jumping up and down in our front yard are two of our friends...one who is 34 weeks pregnant...giving us an incredible send off.



We get downtown really easily. Park. And walk up to MGM Grand where it's warm and has clean, FLUSHING toilets.  It's about a 1/2 mile walk to the start line so we stayed warm in there until 6:10 and then headed towards the crowds, music, and the start line of our first Full Marathon.


The Start Line

After a few more bathroom breaks we found our coral MUCH easier than last year where we stood and waited for the first wave to start.  And by stood and waited I mean cried, laughed, danced, cried some more, and yelled WE'RE RUNNING A FEAKING MARATHON multiple times.  There is nothing like standing on that start line with the friends you have spent the last 18 weeks training with.  We all watched each other sacrifice so much to be able to do this, we supported each other, we believed in each other, and we pushed each other so we could be 100% ready to run these 26.2 miles.

Laura had some goals in mind she wanted to accomplish but was going to pace with us for the first half.

Jen and I had agreed on one of our long runs that we were here to have fun.  We wanted to feel like we raced at the end but we wanted to soak up every single second of this race.  When I race a half marathon I don't remember anything...I don't remember the course...the people...nothing.  I am so focused on my time goal I don't really see much of what's going on around me.  We wanted to soak up every second of this day.  A seasoned marathoner told me "You can never run your first marathon again...so enjoy it...you have the rest of your life to race." And that's exactly what we were planning to do.

As the gun went off for each corral we kept inching closer to the start line.  Our people were following us up to send us off.  It would be another 8 miles until we would see them again.  The countdown for our coral is almost over....I look over and see Dana and my sister one more time...the gun shoots and we are off.

Mile 1
All the tears.  All of them.  We are running a MARATHON.  We are warming up our cold muscles.  Taking it easy over the uneven streets and dodging all the clothes people have already taken off and regulating our breathing all while trying to stop crying.  Jen is wearing a Batman headband and I am wearing a Superman headband...to take my mind off of the emotions of what we are doing I asked...."If Batman were to fight Superman who would win?" Both Laura and Jen said Batman but since this is my blog, my rules...I win. SUPERMAN!! 

Mile 2
The bridge is coming.  Remember the article about it not being safe? Whatever...I'M RUNNING A MARATHON!!! Towards the end of mile 2 we start up the incline to the Bridge to Canada.  You see the sea of runners that are already on the bridge, the sun is rising behind it, you can see Detroit on one side and Windsor on the other.  We are about to cross that. As we're on the ascent a runner flys by me...arms out...head high...yelling "GOD IS GOOD EVERYONE!! LOOK AT THIS!!! LOOK WHAT YOUR BODY CAN DO!! GOD IS GOOD!!!"


Mile 3
We're on the Ambassador Bridge!! We head out of the U.S.A and into Canada within this mile! Coming into Canada is one of my favorite parts of the entire race.  The announcer is amazing and the Border Patrol guys are.......HOT..........As we're running through the border the announcer starts the "GO GREEN-GO WHITE" cheer.....If you're not familiar with the Michigan/Michigan State rivalry or the outcome of the game the day before you may live under a rock. The runners and the crowd start either joining in on the GO-GREEN-GO WHITE or start yelling GO BLUE! Lots of energy in Canada....LOTS OF ENERGY!

Miles 4, 5, 6
Have I mentioned how fun Canada is? The crowds along the way...The signs...The music...Those miles flew by.  At mile 6.5 we stop so Laura and Jen can enjoy tporta potties from hell and so I can take off a layer of clothes before going into the sauna...I mean tunnel back to the U.S. 

Mile 7: The Underwater Mile
Jen and I did the International Half last year so we knew what to expect going into the tunnel...But Laura was a first timer and the dripping ceiling gave her a medium amount of panic.  We joked and laughed through the whole thing.  Partly at Laura's expense which ended in multiple middle fingers.

 I checked the amount of ECHOOOOOO I could make a few times.  I enjoyed this mile A LOT more this year than I did last year. Coming out of the tunnel 4 great things happened.

1. We took a picture with the HOT border patrol guys...something I would NEVER have done while racing a shorter distance (BONUS FOR DISTANCE RUNNING) .

2. I jumped to touch the USA banner.  I missed by what felt like a centimeter.  I'm hoping the photographers got a picture of it so I can see the insane level of my hops at almost 8 miles into a marathon.

3. Dan Budd was the first one of our people we saw and his sign that said, "Smile if you peed a little." Seeing his 6 foot 7 inch self holding that sign is a sight that will be ingrained in my memory forever.

4. The rest of our people were waiting for us just past the water station with an entire wall of signs that said "Run Like a Mother!" "YOOOO HOOOOO" and "My Marathon My Rules I Win." They had hugs and love for us that was going to carry us for another 5 miles.

Miles 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
This is the part of the first half that last year seemed to take forever.  The first 8 miles are SO exciting and there's so much going on. Then there's miles 8-12. 

I turned on my music around mile 10 and just kept going.  We felt good. Our pace was consistent.  I knew there was no finish line in 5 miles.  But our people would be there...ready to send us out for the second half. And that's all I needed. 

Mile 13
The part of the race I was most afraid of.  At mile 13 the announcer is yelling "International Half Runners to the Right - Marathoners to the Left" That's us...we're the marathoners this time. I said to Jen..."Remember when we said this would never be us?" We run to the left and look over our right shoulder to see the balloons and the finish line 2 blocks away.  We yelled SEE YOU IN 13.1 MORE!! And split off with the marathoners.

Our people were another block up and it was SO GOOD to see them.  I saw my sister jumping up and down yelling "RUN LIKE A MOTHER!!" I hugged and kissed Dana, grabbed my GU and high fives from the rest of our people,  and headed out for COMPLETELY uncharted territory.


Miles 14, 15, 16, 17
I knew this was going to be the longest stretch of the entire day.  I knew it was going to feel like we were running on a deserted island compared to the first half. This is where I knew I would hit a wall if I didn't stay focused and keep moving forward.  We had only walked through water stations and to choke down GU until this point and I was not going to change that now.  We kept our pace consistant....around 10:50-11:00 minute miles.  And just kept going.  Around mile 16 I got a text from a friend of ours that said, "Thinking of you both this morning! Way to kick ass and get it done- your boys are so lucky to have such amazing, strong, determined moms." This mom has conquered WAY harder things in her life than 26.2 miles.  I read it out loud to Jen through all the tears.  It was just the boost we needed. One foot in front of the other. Just keep going. I kept counting down the miles untill we would see our people.  4 more miles. 3 more miles. 2 more miles.

Mile 18
We were in Indian Village at this point...aka...beautiful houses and beer stations as far as the eye could see.  This is a part of Detroit I didn't even know existed and it is incredible! Those houses were something out of a magazine and the people were so positive and encouraging.  Laura  was ready to pick up her pace for the final miles so she started to kick it.  We sent her off we all the yells of WE LOVE YOU!! RUN LAURA RUN!!! SEE YOU AT THE FINISH!!! One more mile to our people.

Mile 19
Towards the end of Indian Village was my favorite cheer station.  The homeowners made a HUGE brick wall cut out...big enough for us to run through with the words THE WALL at the top.  We were running through The Wall.  Not hitting it. We were running through it.  We will be at our people in less than a mile.

A few minutes later we saw the bridge to Belle Isle.  It's a 4 mile hike for our people to get there so we weren't sure how many of them would have made the trek.






We come around the corner heading towards the bridge and there they are...a sea of orange shirts and a HUGE sign that said, "Finishing is your only FUCKING option." EXACTLY what we needed to see. Hugs and kisses for the hubby and the Baby Grace.  When I registered for this race I told my sister the date RIGHT AWAY and told her that I NEEDED her and that baby (who wasn't even born yet) to be at mile 19 as I was going onto Belle Isle.  And they were there!! Our #supportstaff had killed it again.  Heather, Jo, Ali, Heather Stemm, Rylie, Spencer, Katie, Dan Budd, and Baby Grace made that hike for us...to send us off to the final push.  The next time we would see them would be at the finish line.


As we were heading out onto Belle Isle I said to Jen..."We are going to do this!! We are really going to do this!!" We are going to be Marathoners.

Mile 20
We stopped at the aide station to use the MUCH cleaner porta potties (fewer full marathoners = porta potties not from hell).  A few feet away is the mile 20 marker and the timing mat that will show our people we are a 10k from the finish.  As we are adjusting our clothes because sweaty clothes NEVER go back in the same spot...............This amazing volunteer from the aide station comes up to us and looks at our green bibs (that's what means we are first time marathoners).  She says this......

"You two can do this.  You are 6.2 miles from the finish line.  That means you are 6.2 miles from being MARATHONERS! Run, walk, whatever you have to do get to that finish line.  When you cross it they will put a medal around your neck and YOU WILL BE MARATHONERS!  No one will ever be able to take that away from you.  You've earned it.  Now GET TO THAT FINISH LINE!"

I will never see this woman again in my life but I will NEVER forget her words. 

Miles 21 and 22
Around Belle Isle Jen and talk like we do on any long run.  She asks me if i'm ok with our pace and how we are doing and I am...I am 100% happy with how I feel and the experience I have had.  We are having so much fun and I know I will remember every step of this day for the rest of my life....and that was exactly what we had set out to do.  We listen to our two favorite songs...Shut up and Dance which is a song that sums up my husband to a T, and Honey I'm Good which was written for hers.  We laugh.  We joke.  She dry heaves over a GU that has been smashed on the ground.  I make fun of her. She flips me off. 


There is not another person on this earth I would want to be out there doing this with.  We have suffered together, sacrificed together, and grown as moms, wives, and friends together.  She lets me be me and I love her so much for that.  



Mile 23
We have 3.2 miles to run...a 5k.  Jen says, "we have a 5k left." I am CHOKING down tears at this point.  I didn't want to walk now...we hadn't walked yet. But crying makes me have a side ache and I was tired...and sore...and there was no time for crying. I compose myself as much as I can and say, "There was a time in my life I couldn't run a 5k." She knows...she was there...she has watched how hard I've worked to be able to run.  And she has done it too.  Her first 5k was not pretty.  But we let those experiences push us to be the runners we are now....A 5K away from being Marathoners.

We get to run along the river front for the next mile and it was beautiful.  I just let my mind travel...all positive thoughts.  All things about how far we both have come since we started running such a short time ago.

Mile 24
We walk through the aide station and there is a guy that has already finished his marathon that has walked back to cheer on the rest of the runners.  He looks in my eyes and yells, "2 more miles!!" I give him the THAT'S A LONG WAY RIGHT NOW BUD look and as I'm running away he's yelling, "You 24 miles down and 2 to go.  YOU HAVE EARNED THIS!! RUN!!!" 

Mile 25
We pass the Mile 25 flag.  LAST MILE! ONE MORE MILE until we see our people. ONE MORE MILE until the finish line.  ONE MORE MILE until we are MARATHONERS!! During training we always kicked the last mile to see what we had in our tank.  We didn't run 25 miles to walk the last one but we didn't have a lot of kick left in us.  We agreed to run it the best we could.  We round the corner and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!??!?  A hill. A BIG ASS HILL at mile 25?!?!? We ran that hill because we are less than a mile from that title that no one can ever take away from us.

We go under a bridge and I check the ECHOOOOOOO...it was good.  I can tell we are getting closer.  There's more people.  More finishers that are coming back to cheer us in. We are almost there.

Mile 26 - 26.2
I can see the mile 26 flag only a block ahead of us and the hill that goes up to turn to the finish line.  There was a man right by the flag that looked right at us and said "THIS IS IT! THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE TRAINED FOR!! GET UP THAT HILL AND FINISH YOUR MARATHON!!!"

Up the hill.

Around the corner.

There it is...The finish line we passed 13.1 miles ago.

I hear our people SCREAMING for us.

We kick it with everything we had left.

We get closer.

Our people get louder.

I don't even try to stop the tears.

Run. Run. Run.

I look over at our people one more time.

And just like that....WE ARE MARATHONERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laura was waiting for us right on the other side of the finish line and we all celebrated together.

We are Moms. We are Wives. And we are MARATHONERS!


Laura finished in 4:48 and Jen and I finished in 5:07 which is right where I thought we would be!

Post Race 
We smile. We yell WE ARE MARATHONERS a million times. We laugh. We take a million pictures. We go to back to MGM Grand to use the clean bathrooms.  Then off to EAT and finally HOME TO SLEEP!!

There is not a single part of the race I would have done differently.  I loved every single second of it. I would even say it is most defiantly up there with our wedding day in the "Best Days of my Life."



What's next? The sky's the limit...I'm a freaking marathoner.

26.2 Lessons Learned Training for my first 26.2

It's here... TAPER TIME!!! The week of the training cycle I love to hate.  It's the week we cut back on miles and boot camps and rest our bodies.  And by rest I mean fold the MOUNTAIN of laundry that has been piling up from the last few weeks of hard training.

On December 31st, 2014 at 11:59 p.m. I sat on the floor with my computer open ready to register for this race.  I am turning 30 in a few weeks and  I wanted to run 26.2 miles to celebrate that I am in the absolute best shape of my life!!  I mean that's how everyone celebrates right?! So TEN MONTHS ago this journey started and I have learned A LOT along the way.  The number 26.2 is in my mind every second of the day so I thought that was the perfect way to write about my experience training for my first 26.2

26.2 Things I Learned Training for my First 26.2

1. I could not do ANY of this without this guy.

I've always said I appreciate my husband because he treats me like a queen.  But that vague description does not do his love for me any justice.  He has never...not one single time ever complained about my training.  Maybe it's because our kids are older...maybe it's because I'm to tired 90% of the time to argue with him...and maybe it's because he's so proud of me for finishing something I never thought I could do.  He sets my coffee pot for 4:00 a.m. because I still have yet to learn how to do that.  He leaves me notes that give me more energy in the early morning miles than he will ever know.

 He meets us out on our long runs with all 3 of our babes along with him to bring us water, fuel, donuts, and laughs.  He takes our kids to do fun things while I'm at training races or out running for 5 hours on a Thursday morning.  He rubs my feet almost every night.  He knows once my tired body is sitting down it's not getting back up to fill my water so he brings me a cup without even asking. Training for 26.2 CONSUMES YOUR ENTIRE LIFE for 6 months.  And without him and his endless support I would have really struggled to stay motivated, with mommy guilt, and I would never have had hot coffee waiting for me at 4:30 a.m. everyday.  I could not have done this without him.  That is why I will love him long time.

2. When you sign up for a marathon EVERYONE knows your running it but HARDLY ANYONE knows how far it is... I've actually been asked, "So it's more that a 5k?" WHAT?!?!??!  Yes... It's TWENTY SIX POINT TWO MILES.

3. Chafing is a real thing. Go ahead...Google what is is. I have scars to prove it that I'm NOT going to share.

4. Aquaphor is my friend.  It makes the above problem stop.

5. Training for a spring half marathon and a fall full marathon in the same year means 2 weeks of not training in 8 months.  I MAY have left this little bit of information out when convincing my running partner to do both with me.  We started training for our spring half marathon in February. Raced on May 31.  Had two weeks of "easy running" and started full training with a 10 mile run on June 14th.



6. Having a running coach saved my sanity.  I tell people what to do in 90% of my life.  From training to business owning to my type A personality....it's just what I'm good at.  But I knew to do this I needed someone to tell me what to do. I found Lori through a group of runners I know from our area and she has coached me through the last 6 months of training.  There aren't enough good words to say about her.  Every two weeks she gives me my plan...the distances...the paces...how to fit it all in my life...my only job is to do it.  She solves my running problems when I don't have the space in my mind to do it myself.  With Lori coaching me I have taken ELEVEN MINUTES off my half marathon time from last fall and learned SO MUCH about running.  I've also cursed her name while running many, many times.  But what she has done is working and I don't have to think about it...I just do the work.

7. LT = Lactic Threshold = Edge of Death Paced Running

8. To run farther you have to SLOW DOWN.  This was a hard one to accept because for so long I prided myself on my ever increasing speed...But Lori would always assure me my speed is not gone...hence the 11 minute PR.  But I'm not running a 5k pace for 26.2 miles.  So SLOW DOWN and enjoy the longer distances!!

9. Summer running IS THE DEVIL!!!! Stupid humidity. Stupid heat. Makes you think you're never going to be able to do this. You're slow. You're hot. You have to stop all the time to drink water...with thoughts like...THIS SPORT IS SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



10. Summer running makes you stronger.  First sub 70 degree day....I was flying.

11. Never say never... Jen and I have ran together for over a year now.  We trained and ran Detroit International Half Marathon last Fall...It was Jen's first half and my third.  We finished that race and both said..."We will never run a full marathon." 3 months later we were both waiting for registration to open on New Years Eve to sign up for our first 26.2. Never say never.


12.  Marathon training = dirt road running = learning to pee outdoors

13. Running shoes last around 300 miles.  So when you're sitting at Running Fit ready for a new pair because you're starting to have some knee pain and they ask how many miles you have on your shoes and you reply, "a little over 600" They will look at you like you have 3 heads...or you're a complete idiot.

14. I made friends....Which is NOT something I do very easily.  For our Spring race there was a group of runners from our small town that were doing it too so we went to the expo and dinner together.  I knew them...but again...making friends is not really high on my list of things I enjoy doing so I assumed we would just support each other through the next day of crappy running (it was going to be 50 degrees and raining THE ENTIRE RACE) and then give the occasional LIKE on facebook to each others accomplishments.  That is pretty much THE FARTHEST thing from what really happened.



Over the next 18 weeks these people have made us homemade breakfast after long runs,

Drove out in the wee hours of the morning to encourage us on some of those never ending miles.

Their husbands have found us almost dead on the side of the road in the middle of a 14 mile run on a 95 degree day in the middle of the afternoon and brought us ice cold water and towels. And their kids come surprise us at our houses the night before long runs.

Every.Single.Week they have sent each of us a handmade card with words of encouragement and power...many weeks it was EXACTLY what I needed to push me through.


But what's the most important thing they've done for me? They've been there.  And not just with occasional words of encouragement.  They truly care about me.  My well being. My mental health or lack there of. My kids. My family. My LIFE.



Even if I were to completely suck at running these 26.2 miles this weekend I wouldn't care...because training for this race has given me something I never expected...True friendships.


We will all be at Detroit on Sunday...3 of us running 26.2 miles...the other 2 cheering us on the entire way...and all of us crossing the finish line together.

15. Bacon is the best post run food in the history of the world and if anyone wants to meet me at mile 25 with a hot plate of bacon and run in front of me to the finish line I will be forever grateful.

16. If you ever want to doubt your ability to do something step outside of your comfort zone.  I have wondered if I can really do this more times than I would like to admit.  But I just kept going...one more mile..one more workout...one more week.  One foot in front of another.

17. The half marathon is my happy distance.  Training for a half is time consuming but not LIFE consuming.

18.  Choking down gu at mile 15 may lead to uncontrollable dry heaving if you have a sensitive gag reflex.  And instead of comforting her I take a video.

19.  I miss late night movie marathons with my hubby.  I miss early morning snuggles with my babes. Setting my alarm for 5:00 a.m. or earlier 6 days a week doesn't allow for EITHER of those activities.

20. I will run a marathon every 5 years.  I really enjoy the challenge...stepping out of my comfort zone...pushing my body and mind.  It's not something I want to do every fall....but definitely something I will do every few years.  I also reserve the right to try to get into the Chicago Marathon every year from now until the day I get in..........So I could be running another 26.2 next fall if the running gods allow it. (Jen's head just exploded)

21. My kids have gained an understanding of what each distance means for them.

Zack: "How far are you going today?"
Me: "Just 6"
Zack: "That's not even far...I'll still be playing games when you get back."

Zack: "How far are you going today?
Me: "22 miles."
Zack: "So me and daddy will bring you water and beans in the woods in a bit."

22. Sunrise is a great motivator.  I LOVE being out running when the sun is coming up.  There were days when I FOR SURE could have slept in but really wanted to be out when the sun came up.



23. I can juggle so much more life than I ever imagined.  We have ran almost 550 miles training for this race.  That's over 600 hours spent running.  That's roughly 25 days.  This is the first year I have worked since having our babes.  We own two small businesses. Have 3 kids under the age of 6. And I spent THAT MUCH TIME training for this race.  And that's JUST THE RUNNING...That doesn't include cross training (which thankfully is my job so it's much easier for me to do throughout the day) I'm going to have so much time for activities after this!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like searching for the next race I'm going to run :)

24. Running is a sickness. During my worst long run I'm standing on Dutch Drive on mile 15 fighting back tears because I don't think I can finish the last 5 miles of that run...if I can't finish this how will I ever finish 26.2?!  I finish that 20 miles and come home to the absolute best cheering section in the world... And I can't wait to go out for my next 20 miler to show myself that I CAN DO IT...with those sweet little faces in my mind the whole way.



25:  I have the best running partner in the history of the world.  She has never said no to any of the crazy things I ask/tell her to do.  She pushes me just as much as I push her.  We have a friendship that was formed over miles of running and months of sacrificing. She knows what I'm feeling before I admit it like the day on Dutch Drive I was going to throw in the towel........she knew at mile 13 I was struggling and started to talk me off my cliff then.  We cry together. We laugh together. We stay home on Saturday nights because we have a long run the next morning and drink water together. We both have a lot of life going on all the time and we help each other be better people....better moms to our babes...better wives to our husbands...better friends to our friends.  She may want to kill me 90% of the time...but I know we could not do this without each other...running and life would be a lot less fun.

"Here's to the next 18 weeks of early mornings, long runs, hard workouts, and pushing ourselves farther than ever before...Detroit International Full Marathon Training Day 1!!"


26: In 5 days I am going to be standing on the start line of my first marathon.  But really...it's the finish.  The last 26.2 miles of a goal I never thought I would have.  These last 18 weeks have taught me a lot which is exactly why I love running so much.  I have learned to be strong when I want to be weak.  I have learned to push forward when I want to stop.  And I have learned that I am so much stronger than I ever imagined I could be.

.2: After having our 3rd babe 2 1/2 years ago I couldn't run a mile.  Now I am running 26.2.  I will think about my journey a lot on Sunday because fitness is not a sprint...it is a marathon but with no finish line.


Just.Keep.Going.

Life is FLYING by.

My mind has been full of questions lately and running has helped stop the chaos but it hasn't help answer these questions...and I know the only thing that will answer these questions is time and until then I'm going to do the next best thing to running...I'm going to write about it.

More babes or no more babes....that is the question.

And man is that a HUGE question.

Here are the things I have swirling in my life right now that is making answering this question the most twisted roller coaster ride ever.

1. Our oldest babe is starting Kindergarten,

WHAT??! When did this happen!?! Last week Dana and I were bringing him home from the hospital...Brand new babe...brand new parents...a whole new part of our life beginning...........


What really happened last week......Dana and I took him on a date to go get school supplies.  And all three of us are in the car driving to the store, playing I spy, talking about Kindergarten, and doing my best to hide my tears .


I am so proud of the little human he is growing into.  He loves people ( TOTALLY gets that from his daddy) and with that love of people he has grown TRUE friendships that I hope will last a lifetime.  He CARES about others and their feelings (also gets that from his daddy) and has been described by his teachers as "that kid every teacher wants in their class." Melted my heart.  He is FIERCELY independent (gets THAT from his mama) and has GREAT leadership skills that just need to be fine tuned...aka...he's a little bossy...I have no idea where he gets that :)

So we're out shopping for things for this little Kindergartener and I keep having that feeling of  dread in the pit of my stomach..........more on this feeling in a bit.

2. This weirdly independent stage of life.

For a week this summer I took my 3 babes camping.  Some would argue that staying in a cabin with a fridge and electricity and air conditioning ISN'T camping...but we still had to make the walk to the bathroom so IT'S TOTALLY CAMPING!!

Just me and the babes.

Yes my brothers started all the fires for me and no we did not cook over it.  But it was still...just me and the babes.  We did whatever they wanted.

"Mom can we swim?" SURE!

"Mom can we ride bikes?" SURE!

"Mom can we go to the playground?" SURE!

We camped, we played, we swam, we had bonfires, we went on night time alligator hunts, we went to the beach TWICE, splash pads, ice cream, parks...just all the fun.  All of it. Just me and the babes.

Literally everything they wanted to do we COULD! We didn't have to coordinate around nap times or nursing or not being able to be in the heat because CAN SOMEONE PLEASE JUST HOLD THIS LITTLE HOT BOX OF A CHILD FOR A MINUTE SO I CAN STOP SWEATING!!

For the first time EVER in my life as a mom I didn't have a baby to coordinate around or worry about.  I have big kids.  That do big kid things.  That don't need that much help from me.


Que the tears.  And that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

3. Our everyday life is getting easier.

I love it but I hate it.  I love it for the obvious reasons (See everything above.....) but why do I hate it?

Do I hate it because I've never felt it? It's never been easy...it's always been work and this "Hey...let's go to the beach today" and 5 minutes later we're in the car on the way thing is so foreign to me? Coming from 5 years of planning and coordinating and juggling life with 3 LITTLE kids to this slower paced EASY feeling.....


Everytime I feel like our days are getting easier or I sit at the park while they all play together and only get called for the occasional...PUSH ME MOM....I get that feeling of dread.  And I cry.

So what is this feeling of dread? It's fear.  Fear of the unknown.

We are entering a stage of life we have NEVER been in before.  We've never even flirted with the possibility of being here.  We had 3 kids in 4 years.   That's 5 years of diapers, 4 years straight of being pregnant or nursing....for the past 6 years we have been consumed with all the things that come with having babies...naps, diapers, teething, restless days, sleepless nights, and my husbands favorite stage...TODDLERHOOD...

Toddlerhood: A constant state of movement...mostly of the dangerous type... unless the child is strapped into a chair against their will or sleeping.  Often also referred to as Suicide Watch.

In our house once one child was finally off Suicide Watch...another was on.

So here we are...no toddlers....no babies...and none of the constant attention they need.  We have big boys that LOVE to play and run and GO GO GO and I love that.  I really do.  But they don't need me as much anymore...and THAT is what hurts my heart...THAT is what makes me cry...and THAT is why I know I have this burning question in my mind...Do we have another baby?

No I'm not pushing my big kids to the back burner...they still need me for LOTS of things.  See what you have to understand is we didn't have ONE baby...we had 3 babies...In a VERY short amount of time...Much shorter than either of us ever planned. And those years FLEW by.  When we had our first babe we knew we would have another really soon then wait a few years and have two more...spreading out the years of toddlerhood and babies but then there was Ty...and now we have 3 babes in the time we had thought we would have 2 and I'm SURE that just last week we were bringing our first born home from the hospital.


Our life has been a whirlwind.  And it's NOT slowing down.  Someone once said to me, "As fast as they came is as fast as they'll go." Don't worry I punched them in the face so you won't ever have to meet them.  Having another babe won't slow life down...TRUST ME...I KNOW THIS.  But it WILL extend what I have felt is the absolute BEST time of my life.  Not just now...but over the rest of our lives.  3 babes in 4 years means 3 first days of Kindergarten in 4 years, 3 kids driving within 4 years, 3 graduations in 4 years. Life is just FLYING by...and it's not just that I'm not ready for the unknown...I didn't think I would HAVE to be yet.

So here I am...spewing my thoughts out here because running has NOT been able to get rid of this feeling...maybe dread is not the best way to describe it...but I see my life and the parts of it I love so much FLYING by...and I know I can't stop it...but I also know I'm not ready for parts of it to be over.

Dexter Ann Arbor Half Marathon Race Recap

Fair Warning...This race recap is full of all the feels because that is what got me through that 13.1 miles. All.The.Feels. All of them. 

It's Sunday morning. My alarm goes off and before I wake up enough to listen for what's going on outside I think..."maybe the weatherman was wrong." 

NOPE. 

I can hear the wind whipping the rain into our bedroom window. 

SHIT.

We're really doing this.

I think the same thing I think every early morning...Get up. Feet on floor. And move...don't look back. 

BUT IT'S 50 FREAKING DEGREES, WINDY, AND RAINING....who wants to run 13.1 miles in THIS!?!

And let me be the first to tell you I did not WANT to run this race in these conditions. I wanted to join the 700 other people that signed up for the race but stayed home in their nice, warm, dry homes. 

Keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving. 

I get a text from the group of Mother Runners...4 of the 5 of us are running 13.1 miles..in the rain...and wind..and cold. The other is on the injured list but because she is an incredible friend was still coming to be our support staff. As the other 4 of us are bitching about the weather she says, "Can't wait to see some badass mother runners cross the finish line today! Because there is a finish line and that amazing feeling you get when you cross it. Rain or not there is a finish line!" 

Ok Sarah. Get your shit together. You're doing this. 

Oatmeal. Coffee. Phone. Poncho. Post race clothes. Let's go. 

We got to the start line 15 minutes before the gun...After 3 pit stops in 45 minutes. For one we waited in a line of cars for the porta potty...A.line.of.cars. Not people standing in line. A line of cars. We are crazy...or driven, passionate, stubborn,...or crazy. You choose.

We  had a short walk to the school where the start line was. I'm trying to stay dry under our Support Staff's umbrella but it wasn't working. I could already feel the cold and wet creeping into my shoes. For the first time I feel just how cold the wind feels when my skin is wet...and the panic starts to creep up. I am COMPLETELY and TOTALLY NOT trained to run in this weather. If I woke up on ANY morning and it was 50 degrees, windy, and rainy I would NOT go out and run. Never. Freezing cold and snow...I'm out there. Boiling hot and humid...bring it on. Rain, wind and cold is a brutal combination because you cannot protect yourself from any of it. The rain will soak you and the wind and cold will chill you to the bone. And it was already happening and I've been outside for all of 2 minutes. My heart is pounding.

I've never done this race as a half marathon before...only the 5k...But based off their previous year results there's usually around 1,500  half marathoners...This year there were 723. SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE driven, passionate, stubborn, crazy runners waiting in the hallways of Dexter Middle School for as long a possible trying to enjoy being warm and dry for the last time for the next two hours. Worrying about wet feet and blisters, poncho or no poncho, sweat shirt or no sweat shirt...Are we really doing this? Are we really going back out there? 

2 minutes to start. 

We are out of our last bathroom stop and start walking towards the start line. Because there were literally HALF of the runners there usually are the pace groups were way, way, way far up towards the start line. Jen and I knew we really wanted to be under 2:10. Under 2:05 would be REALLY nice but under 2:10 would be awesome...especially on this hilly course and in these conditions....2:10. We wanted 2:10. But we couldn't find the 2:10 pacer and before I knew it the gun went off and we started moving forward...As we looked to say goodbye to our Support Staff...her umbrella flipped inside out...

Mother Nature officially hates us.

We kept inching closer to the start line and before I knew it we crossed it and started to run. Less than 30 seconds in Jen says..."I'm having a hard time keeping it together." and I was too! Here we were...not olympic athletes...not world class racers...just two moms who found something that makes them better inside and out...who have spent the last year running through whatever life has thrown at us...through fat days, frustration, self doubt, stress...We have gotten to a point where training isn't about just the finish line...it's about the journey to the finish line. What we have to overcome to get there...and for this race we have overcome A LOT. Our last big hurdle was in front of us...13.1 miles of cold. wind. and rain. And I cried as soon as I crossed the start line. Not because of the SHITTASTIC weather we had...but because it didn't matter!! It didn't matter that over HALF of the runners had stayed home because it was such a horrible day...it didn't matter that my shoes were already soaked through...it didn't matter that I had 2 hours of this to deal with ahead of me...We weren't quitting. We were finishing what we started. And 2 years ago...I would NEVER have had the mental ability to do that. I would have quit. I would let life beat me down and not fight back...I would quit things I loved if they got to hard...I would not give 100% for fear of failure. I was not strong inside or out...And here I was...fighting back harder than I ever have before not just against the weather, but LIFE...the ups, downs, and curve balls.   So I cried. Because I am so proud of the person I have fought so so so hard to become. I knew how MENTALLY hard these 13.1 miles ahead of us were going to be but I was going to kick them square in the ass. 

Because of the lack of runners and our late arrival at the start line...We were behind the 2:30 pace group and had to do some serious dodging and ducking those first few miles to maintain our pace. I was so focused on not tripping on anyone and slow up hills and fast down that the first 3 miles were a blur. I could hear my running coach says.....

Don't go with the pack...keep your pace...run your race. 

I did my best to keep us on pace and slow up hills and fast down. I ditched my sweatshirt around mile 4...I knew our families and Support Staff were waiting at mile 7 with our extra clothes so I could grab something then if I was cold. We did exactly what we were suppose to do...slow up hills, fast down. I was coldish but would warm up on every hill...and there were a metric shit ton of hills. Some small. Some rolling. Some NEVER ENDING. We drove the course the night before,,,in pouring rain...and I kept trying to remember what was coming next.  I remember passing the mile 5 sign and saying, "That went fast." 

We heard a voice behind us... "YOOOOOO HOOOOOOO Big summer blow out!!!!" (Get the Frozen refrence...) It was one of the Mother Runners we had started with.

Making you smile while running in the cold, wind, and rain...That's what Mother Runners are for. 

I knew we had less than 2 miles to our husbands and our babes. I knew I was going to need those high fives and bright eyed smiles....But I also knew they were going to be at the top of a big hill. 

We started up the hill and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. And like I planned it the song "Welcome to the Jungle" came on right as we came to the top of the hill where you could see the people lining the streets....right where our  families...our own little Jungle...were waiting. We are Mother Runners...We run to burn of the crazy that comes with being a mom...living in our own Jungles of chaotic, hectic, unconditional love with those goons that were waiting at the top of that hill. 

First we saw our Support Staff and one of the other Mother Runner's Daughters who had THE BIGGEST smile on her face. Her mommy was ahead of us and of course I start crying...what an amazing example she is setting for her daughter and that little girl was just soaking it up. If you've never gone to a race to support someone you love you should...we get so much energy from you...to see your smile even if it's just for a second will propel us for miles... And that little girls smile and big bright eyes were EPIC. 

About 20 steps farther up I saw them...My mom, husband, and oldest babe. I slowed down just enough to really look at my son's face. He had that same smile and big bright eyes...He is one of the reasons I started running...I wanted to keep up with him, to not have to slow down, to chase him and his 2 little brothers all day long. He gave me the best high five and big bright eyed smile as we passed. I knew I was going to have to hang onto that image for the next 6 miles because it wasn't getting warmer...and it was still raining...and the wind had picked up. Right as we started to get out of the crowd and towards the water station there was a sign that said. "Runners don't get rained out...they get rained on." 

Combine that sign with our Jungle we just ran through...I lost it. We had to walk through that water station so I could pull it together. We were over halfway. We just got the BEST high fives in the history of high fives. And our kids are watching us finish something we started... Tears. All of them.

I rode that high for the next 2 miles...then at mile 9 I hit a wall. I was REALLY starting to get cold/hot/cold/hot/cold/hot flashes every few steps. I couldn't keep my arms warm so I kept sticking them back in my rain poncho then I saw it...this HUGE curve in the road where you could see how far you still have to go.  We are along a river...the wind picked up again and was blowing the rain off the trees so it felt like it was pouring. I was miserable. And I knew what was coming....2 HUGE hills at mile 11 and 12.5. HUGE hills. The 5k of this race I ran 2 years before and I remember those 2 hills VERY clearly. 

This is what happened next...

Me: I'm dying.

Jen: What do you need do you want to walk?

Me: No.

Jen: Slow down?

Me: Yes...but if you can go faster you need...

Jen: NO.

Another mile passed.

Jen: 3 miles left...that's once around the big loop. Zack will be there waiting for you.

I thought of EVERY.SINGLE.THING I've ever said in bootcamp. 

I thought of Laura...the Mother Runner with the sweet daughter that was at mile 7...She was probably already at the finish...she better get me a bagel.

I though of Jo...YOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO BIG SUMMER BLOW OUT! She was bobbing right in front of us . 

I thought of our Support Staff who would have given anything to be out there racing with us that day but she couldn't. 

Turn your mind off and RUN...Right now. RUN.

Mile 11

Me: When I ran the 5k I wanted to die right here too...but that was only 1 mile in...now I'm 11 miles in.

Jen: Now remember THAT.

Mile 11.5...the middle of hill of death number 1.... There they were...not our family...not cute kids with huge smiles and bright eyes...There they were....The 2:10 pacers. And we passed them...right in the middle of the hill I was dreading so much. And just like that the wall I had been struggling over for the last 2 miles was gone and the runner's high kicked in and we were off. 

Mile 12. Here we go...final push...the last half mile is all up hill...the only way to do it is run it as absolutely fast as you can. I ran it like those 2:10 pacers were on my ass...I saw the crowds getting bigger...I knew it was close. Then I could see it...the big banner over the road that said FINISH. 

Beast Mode ON. 

I knew our Support Staff was to our right but I couldn't even look...I could only see that finish line. And I ran as absolutely fast as I could through eyes full of tears up the rest of the hill and crossed the timing mat with no idea what our time was but knowing we beat our 2:10 goal. 

I hugged Jen and we found the rest of the Mother Runners that had finished ahead of us...all with HUGE Personal Records. HUGE. I mean they do workout at my gym....soooooooo............I wouldn't expect anything less.

We found our families. Took some pictures. And raced to the car where dry clothes, seat heaters, and coffee were waiting for me. 

I knew we were under 2:10....But I didn't know how far...as we were pulling into our driveway I found our official time. 2:08:19.

That's over a 5 minute Personal Record...on a hilly course. In cold, wind, and rain. 

Running is not just about the race..It's not just about miles and PR's...It's far far bigger than that.

The person I was 2 years ago is different than the person I was 4 months ago who's different that the person I am today. It's not the running that drives me and make me spend 2 hours in the pouring rain with 700 other driven, passionate, stubborn, crazy people.....it's the person that running has made me become. 

Left: Dexter Ann Arbor 5k  May 2013

Right: Dexter Ann Arbor Half Marathon May 2015

Just.Keep.Going.