This Awful, Beautiful Life

Today while I was folding a mountain of laundry that had consumed our entire dining room floor and table I was thinking about this stage of life we are in right now.

If life would have followed the path we had chosen for ourselves we wouldn't have ANY children yet, I would be teaching full time, we would have paid off all of my student loans, bought our dream house, traveled the country, and POSSIBLY considered starting a family in the next year or two. 

But there I stood folding Superman underwear, listening to our 2 year old make uncannily accurate sound effects while loading the playdough rocks into his dump truck.  Our one year old was edging his way on tip toes around the kitchen table where all the folded laundry sat like a shark circling his prey, and our 4 year old was in charge of the background music and was doing and excellent job of switching between the classic sounds of Mario Brothers, Mario Cart, and Batman....

Some days this stage of life makes me want to stick hot pokers in my eyes.................But today I loved every, single, second. 

Maybe it was the fact that both Friday night and this morning we had friends over and were able to actually sit and have conversations rather than playing referee all.freaking.night. 

Maybe it's because I had 2 AWESOME runs this weekend.

Maybe it's because the temperature was actually above zero for the first time in MONTHS....and by above zero I mean 5 degrees. 

But I stood their folding laundry, just soaking in these little boys and their sweetness.  The simplicity of their lives. The innocence in their thoughts. Max and his curiosity with his rocks and how intricately his was making piles just to smash them down.  Tyler's determination to pull every piece of clothing off the table he could get his chubby little hands on. Zack's intense competitiveness and drive to constantly be better at such an early age.

This stage of life is not easy. 

Taking 3 kids under 5 grocery shopping takes LOTS of mental preparation.

There are mornings where it's not even 8:00 a.m. and I've had to break up an all out fist fight over who gets the Spiderman place mat and who gets the Thomas place mat. 

I have heard the words, "Sorry mom, I touched my poop." and "I don't want to drink my pee today." 

I have said the words, "Don't put the dog food in your nose!" and "Don't drink the bath water your brother peed in the tub 5 minutes ago." 

I yell. 

I cry.

On nights I realize I forgot to wash the peed on sheets RIGHT as I'm putting them in bed I throw down a towel rather than changing the bedding and risking waking up the sleeping baby.

They watch T.V....and by watch I mean can recite 90% of the Toy Story movies and 97% of Wreck it Ralph. 

I don't generally wear jeans and when I do Max will ask, "Do you have meeting mommy?"

At any given moment you could walk in our house and see one or more children in the bathtub.  Whether it's because we had spaghetti for lunch and my children eat like cavemen or we endured another poop touching episode...................the bathtub is my saving grace. 

Yes, my house is cleaned by someone else every other week.

Yes, my husband had awesome hours and works 2 blocks from our front door.

Yes, said husband also does more in a day for me and our kids than most husbands do in a month.

Yes, our children are in bed by 8:00 every night so I'm usually sitting down with a cup of hot tea, no pants, and browsing facebook no later than 8:07. 

Some days I just need to step back and see just how beautiful our life really is. And that is exactly what I did today mid laundry mountain. 

I've been given a lot of parenting advice since the first time I saw two pink lines but my all time favorite words of wisdom are, "How you speak to your children become their inner voice." So today my Monday Motivation does not revolve around changing your body....but focusing on what you want your little's one's to hear inside their heads and hearts when you're not there to say it. What does their inner voice sound like? 

I am not supermom. I am not perfect. I will be the first one to admit when I'm wrong...Ok, maybe the second.  But I do know I only get one shot at giving my babes the morals and values they need before sending them out into the world. There's only 940 Saturdays from the time your child is born until their 18th birthday...................

I do have an easy life.......

I take naps in the sun.

I make playdough rocks, lego cities, and awesome blanket forts

I let them pull the folded laundry off the table just to hear the one year old laugh from the bottom of his toes. 

Don't confuse an easy life with a beautiful life. 

One of my favorite country songs says it best.................................

I laid in bed that night and thought about the day

And how my life is like a roller coaster ride
The ups and downs and crazy turns along the way
It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight
You can't really smile until you've shed some tears
I could die today or I might live on for years

I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautful life